Monday, 14 April 2014

Tetrapharmakos

I was a wandering across the internet and I came across this little philosophical gem. Tetraphramakos, known as the 'four part cure', is an idea by Greek philosopher Epricus. It's is essentially the philosophy of living the happiest possible life.

Life can be super hard sometimes, and seem overwhelming - but there is always an answer or a solution.

This is a simple four step philosophy to living the happiest possible life. Think about it.


Don't fear god,
Don't worry about death;

What is good is easy to get, and
What is terrible is easy to endure


or as it was originally in Greek


Ἄφοβον ὁ θεός,
ἀνύποπτον ὁ θάνατος

καὶ τἀγαθὸν μὲν εὔκτητον,
τὸ δὲ δεινὸν εὐεκκαρτέρητον




Tuesday, 8 April 2014

Reasons why it's good not to be a slag

1. Little to no STIs
If you try only sleeping with one person, OR EVEN not sleep with anyone, chances of them pesky sexually transmitted diseases are much less likely.



2. There's no awkward moments walking into a room strangers who've already seen a picture of you naked
Remember girls, if you're sending men naughty pictures, chances are their friends have seen them too.


3. If your boobs are the first thing everyone sees, no one is going to care for your personality
Oh hey there girl, you look so interesting and funny, tell me more about your life. Oh wait, I mean HI BOOBS.


4. No guy wants someone all his mates have had
Sloppy seconds, filthy thirds... it goes on. They might sleep with you but they won't respect you.


5. It's considerably warmer
I can't be the only person that walks around in this freezing weather wondering how girls are dying wearing tiny shorts and crop tops.


6. You get more sleep
You can get to bed early because you're not slagging it round town looking for the D and you can wake up later because you don't need to plaster yourself in make-up and fake tan.



7. You have less haters… usually
Whether they admit it or not, ALL girls go through other girls Facebook, Instagram and Twitter hating on them. Admittedly, we'll do this whether you're a slag or not, but it's one less reason for hate.



8. You can have self-respect
All joking aside, any girl that openly and regularly objectifies herself cannot expect anyone to treat her different. If you act like a whore, get treated like a whore. If you act like a lady, you get treated like a lady.

Monday, 31 March 2014

Life Lessons Clerks Taught Me

Clerks - one of my favourite films of all time. It's the first appearance of Jay and Silent Bob but surprisingly, they're not what makes the film as incredible as it is... for me, it's the beautiful life lessons taught in a blunt yet amusing way.

You want to know what they are? Watch the film.




Just kidding, I wrote that out for you. You're welcome xoxox

Quit blaming everyone for your problems, if you're not happy then do something about it.







Working in retail has a serious downfall; customers.


It's important to appreciate the little things in a relationship.

Your walk defines you as a person.


Sometimes, you have to learn to let go.

You must appreciate DVD stores whilst they're still here.

And finally, it teaches Kevin Smith is one hell of a director.



Sunday, 30 March 2014

Film Review H; Horrible Bosses (2011)


Rating: 

"It's relatable; everyone has had a boss at some point that's a total asshole."

Running Time: 1 hour 38 minutes
Rating: 18
Release Date: 8 July, 2011
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Jennifer Anniston, Kevin Spacey, Jason Bateman
Director: Seth Gordon
Writers: Michael Markowitz


Plot: Three mates decide to murder their intolerable bosses. Problem is, these three friends aren't exactly cut out for crime.

Review: It's relatable; everyone has had a boss as some point that's a total asshole. It was almost to the point where it frustrated me at the start; seeing how horrible these bosses were to their employees. It wound me up thinking about how it actually happens in real life, so many people are stuck in jobs they hate whilst being degraded and treated like crap by their bosses for a rubbish wage.

However, when the lads conspire to get revenge against these unbearable bosses, the film starts to get fun. It's an adventure - and definitely a feel good one. It's definitely a high quality and high budget film, everything is done well. The acting is fantastic, the filming is great, the editing is perfect - it's a really well made film. Comedy just isn't my genre, and despite the storyline being entertaining, it wasn't amazing.

Horrible Bosses was a good laugh with a few surprises, a couple of twists and turns. All in all is was a pretty good film, the plot is definitely something I bet almost everyone can relate to from some point in their lives.

Still not sure whether you could relate to this film? Well just ask yourselves these questions.


If the answer to any of the above is yes, this film could show your potential revenge.

DISCLAIMER: I do not recommend killing your boss...


Unless you don't get caught.

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Cats in Costumes

One Step Bronte has been a little film heavy recently so I thought I'd shake it up with something light, simple and enjoyable. Pictures of cats.

This could be the first of a range of blog posts about cats, or it could be a one off, but let's just all enjoy it... I present, Cats in Costumes.

1. Bat Cat

2. Super Cat

3. Hello Kitty Cat

4. Dapper Cat

5. Acid Cats 
(this one's for you Frank)

6. Big Cat

7. Lobster Cat

8. Bumblebee Cat

9. Pirate Cat

10. Bunny Cat

11. Suave Cat(s)

12. Cool Cat

Monday, 24 March 2014

Film Review G; Gravity (2013)


Rating: 

"A journey not only through space but through the mind."

Running Time: 1 hour 31 minutes
Rating: 12A
Release Date: 4 October, 2013
Genre: Drama, Thriller
Starring: Sandra Bullock, George Clooney
Director: AlfonsCuarón
Writers: AlfonsCuarón

Plot: Two astronauts are left adrift in space after their space shuttle is destroyed.

Review: When I saw the trailer to this film, I thought it'd make a great film - if the film was only 15 minutes long. I had no idea how a film about someone being lost, floating in space could last for an entire hour and a half, especially when it's a serious film with no aliens or super powers or anything. Here is that trailer.



After watching it, I realise this is because the film is less about Stone's (Bullock) journey in space, but more about her emotional journey and the struggle to continue. The film focuses mainly on one person who has been cut off from contact with anyone else, so the pressure was really on Bullock as an actress, and I think she did really well. A tear was even brought to my eye at one point. I was really tired and midway through a nine hour flight though, so I wasn't in the best frame of mind.

One thing that is utterly amazing about the film is that (obviously), it wasn't filmed in space yet 99% of the film is shown in space. Honestly, it's revolutionary CGI, it looks like it is really in space. In every scene, it is not only totally believable, but also beautiful.

For me, the fantastic technicalities of the film like the acting and the CGI, couldn't make up for the somewhat uneventful story line and for that reason, this film gets three stars.

I feel like a judge on The Voice after writing that line.

Wednesday, 19 March 2014

Film Review F; The Fifth Element (1997)



Rating: 

"This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships."

Running Time: 2 hours 6 minutes
Rating: PG
Release Date: 9 May, 1997
Genre: Sci-fi
Starring: Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich, Chris Tucker, Gary Oldman
Director: Luc Besson
Writers: Luc Besson
Yeah, that Luc Besson is the same guy that wrote and directed one of the most highly rated films of all time; Léon: The Professional.

Plot: Fast forward to the twenty third century; a bad ass taxi driver finds himself trying to save the world against an evil that comes to Earth every 5,000 years to destroy life.

Review: Surprisingly, I loved this film. It is never something I would usually watch as I HATE sci-fi. Almost as much as I hate rom-com. I mean, I can't really remember seeing any sci-fi I really enjoyed - I mean Star Trek, Star Wars and Doctor Who; all of them boring and somewhat annoying, at least in my opinion.

So what made it stand out against all the other sci-fi films? It has everything needed in order to enthral the audience. I like to watch a believable (or almost believable) films and despite the presence of weird aliens and odd species, the characters were real enough to believe their personalities (with a touch of imagination). I feel it is important to make the viewer feel like they're in the film, watching the events happen in front of them - rather just being sat in a cinema or lying in bed, and this film does it.

I also love the storyline. Luc Besson managed to combined action, comedy, sci-fi and romance all into one film so there is something for every viewer but in a structured way so it actually works.

The whole film is based around there being five elements; fire, water, Earth, wind and love. I think this is the perfect way to look at life. Luc was really clever in the character development, making each character embody a certain quality, or 'element'. Dallas represents strength, Leeloo represents love, Zorg is evil, Father Cornelius is religion...

This film is more than just a sci-fi flick, it is a beautiful representation of life.... with added spaceships.


BRUCE WILLIS A.K.A BAD ASS

As you may well know, Willis is well known as one of cinemas most beloved bad asses. Here are some of his most popular films.